Happy, Happy, HAPPY Holidays!!!!

So, I've been busy....I guess we should expect less time for posting how wonderful our daughter is and more time finding out how wonderful she is. I didn't even have time to bake cookies this year! It will be more fun to have a helper next year...I'm guessing she'll be at lick the beaters stage.

The timing for all of this stuff this year has been hectic and as promised, I'm not complaining. Since we've been home in October, we've had lots of weekends for visiting, then Halloween, then Julia's Birthday, Thanksgiving and then multiple Xmas parties.

This weekend is the final frontier...Julia will meet her other cousins (Kaylee and Ashlyn), aunt (Ann) and uncle (Rich). We are so excited for them to meet, though unfortunately, we will not have much time to spend together.

I can't wait to be bored in January, though another first will happen....Grandma Nettie will be babysitting Julia one Sunday afternoon. Okay, Julia is in daycare right now, but it seems like a big deal. The first time that mommy and daddy aren't at work and Julia is not with one or both of us. Grandma is looking forward to it and I know I'm going to have to run some sort of sugar test to see how many sweets Julia is spoiled with. They will have a ball together!!!

We are so thrilled to have this joy in our lives at Xmas time but still feel the loss of those who cannot be here to enjoy with us. We feel a special sadness for all of the other adopting families who will not be joined for the holidays (we know how hard it is)...but we are excited for those who are expecting their baby's photos probably in the next week or so.

That's about all I have time for today. Merry Christmas to you all!!! May you be as lucky and happy as we are right now through the holidays, next year, and always!!!

Two more pictures

Happy Birthday - Yesterday!

While we were shopping for Julia's Bday present a few weeks ago, someone said to me, "Doesn't the first year go so fast?" (Obviously they didn't realize she was adopted or, thought we had her since day 1. But, the past 2 months sure have gone fast!!! We celebrated her 2 months of being with us on the 17th, adoption day the 18th and her FIRST BIRTHDAY on the 19th!

We would like to thank everyone who was able to make it to her party, which she loved! (Grandma, Aunt Connie, Aunt Jane, Aunt Barbara and Uncle Jack, Uncle Tom and Uncle Paul, Aunt Roseann and cousins Sandra and Tomas-sorry we missed you Uncle Truman, Aunt Karen and Uncle Jerry and cousins Katherine and Marguerite, and Grandpa who came by before the party started). For those who couldn't make it, we missed you (Grandma Bonnie and a special nod to heaven.)

We talked to Uncle Joe and Aunt Carrie and our cousins in N. Carolina wished us Happy Birthday and we also heard from Aunt Ann and Uncle Rich and our cousins in Texas wished us a Happy Birthday! Grandma in Western PA wished us Happy Birthday and we'll get to see her this weekend for another little party! We'll also get to see Uncle Joe and all for Thanksgiving - we're so excited.

I'm posting one of the pictures that I have at the moment. It looks like Uncle Paul has some good photos that I need to download. We are so thrilled and can't say enough about how beautiful Julia is...her soul and spirit and personality are brilliant, plus, she's darn cute!

Birthday details: she got lots of great presents, she ate some cake, pretzels, sandwiches, pasta salad, roast beef. She loves balloons and played well with the kids. Cousins Sandra and Tomas are so great with all the little ones. Hard to believe how grown up they are-Sandra is 16!! (Happy Birthday to them as well).

So, as you can see, I could just chatter on about how wonderful our family is and how much I love them all. We are flawed but we have good flaws and love enough to go around and around! I would like to take a moment to reflect on the fact that Julia's birth mother has given us the gift of a lifetime (with a little help from the CCAA) and we hope that she is not sad on Julia's birthday but that she can somehow feel how much love this child gives and receives. Her birth mother will always be in our hearts and we hope she is well. Gush, gush, gush.....okay-moving on.

Hard to believe the holidays are here. We can only try to forget the sadness of last year when some of the people closest to our hearts could not be with us (one has arrived the other is missed and remembered). This year, we are REALLY looking forward to celebrating! No Atlantic City to hide from the pain, no fertility clinic visits and shots in the arm...a wonderful little girl giggling under the Christmas tree playing with wrapping paper and boxes instead of toys - that's all I want for Christmas - and I just may get it! I hope you all get your Christmas wishes, too.

I will probably not post again this week...so Happy Thanksgiving! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA BONNIE!!!!!-We love you.

For Grandma

More Pictures With Family....

Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill














Aunt Joan

Pictures from Yesterday...

Happy Halloween!

One of my favorite holidays. I can't believe how excited I am to be in the "holiday" season....looking forward to them ALOT this year! It's hard to post regularly because I can't tear myself away from this little princess for very long. She is sooooo good. She sleeps very well at night and seems to be on a schedule now (except naps still vary). She eats just about anything-and I mean anything. She has been visited by or visited lots of the family now (Uncle Joe, Aunt Carrie, Joey & Nicole, Grandma Nettie, Grandma Bonnie, Grandpa John, Aunt Joan, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill, Karen, Jerry, Marguerite & Katherine, Bridgett and Malia, Aunt Connie, Krista and Layla, our neighbor Kate & Samuel and the people Eric and I work with and the people our moms work with)-she's very popular! And, she's looking forward to meeting lots more in the coming months (especially Uncle Rich, Aunt and Ann and her cousins Kaylee & Ashlyn).

We met with daycare and they seemed really nice. I have to look at it like I'm setting her up with a play date - it's easier for me that way. But, I'm still not looking forward to it. I hate being away from her, even if I complain that I need to stop singing "Wheels On The Bus," I secretly love it and I'm thinking of asking Bon Jovi if maybe they can record it for us.

I'm putting up a few pictures even though they may not be the best quality. (OOPS-PHOTOS WON'T LOAD-I'LL TRY AGAIN LATER). She is too cute. We met with the social worker on Friday for the 1st of our 3 follow up visits. She asked us if we'd do it again....a little soon to ask that question. On the one hand, we would consider adopting again...but would we go to China? It's hard to decide....it was quite a trip and with it fresh in our minds, I can't say yes...unless, we knew we'd get another Julia-then I'd say yes in a minute! She is too perfect! I can see that I'm already breaking all my rules and spoiling her...but she really does deserve to have everything she wants!

So, for now I guess that's all. We could say millions of things about her but we'd sound like those crazy obsessed parents who think everything their child does is brilliant, perfect and adorable (but, it really is). Hope everyone had a great Halloween and get ready for a great Thanksgiving. We will be sending some gifts to Julia's SWI in appreciation for them taking such good care of her-we are so thankful! I wish we could have brought home all the children in China.

Having Fun and Settling In

So last weekend, we were pretty tired and sleeping crazy hours so Julia didn't get to cheer for Penn State. As you can see, Daddy rectified that this weekend and Aunt Connie brought Julia a Penn State bear to help her!

We're getting into a schedule now and have decided to play along with Julia. Last week, she refused to take her afternoon nap (she used to take one in the morning and one in the afternoon)....but by bedtime, she was hard to handle! So, we decided to let her stay up and just take a longer afternoon nap-which is where she is now.....

She (and we) had a wondeful visit this weekend from Aunt carrie and Uncle Joe and her cousins Joey and Nicole (she missed her big cousin Ryan who had to stay home because of school). They brought her lots of presents (she's spoiled rotten). I'm only putting one picture up for today, because really, how many pictures can you stand before you all storm our door to meet this gorgeous kid! We also took a hayride and picked pumpkins! (Thanks so much guys for visiting us - we love you sooooo much!)

Now, I must do what all parents do-everything you possibly can get done before the kid wakes up!!!! Laundry, dishes, etc!!! So worth it!

A new picture....

Well, we're starting to getourselves together here. It's only Tuesday and we're not expecting to be close to normal until the end of the week. But, we're starting to get pictures together (not as many as we thought-but we'll have more now!) SO, here's another one here in China-she is very good in the stroller. I think this is in Guangzhou. She is tooooo cute (and she loves her feet)

Mommy's Back!

Okay-I am able to make a quick post. First, I want to thank everyone for their wonderful posts/comments! We were very disappointed we couldn't post more while in China, but it was pretty hectic and not easily accessible. We thought of you all the time and can't wait to share the story of our "adventure" as soon as possible.

I also want to thank Eric for doing the posts lately....as you may have heard, Julia was VERY attached to mommy! He was wonderful and had a lot to do in China that was not the fun part of holding Julia-though let me tell you-carrying 18 pounds of adorable baby is quite exhausting!!!

Anyway, we are back, still a bit off our sleep schedule but we're making strides. I don't get on the computer much yet because I'm catching up on household things and sleeping when I can. Feel free to call whenever-Julia is pretty good about sleeping (once she goes down) and we love to talk to adults! We're hoping to start getting around to visit or receive others and can't wait to see my wonderful brother and his family who we are SOOOO excited to see this weekend!)

We will be getting better at posting our pictures (and taking them) soon. You have no idea how GREAT it is to be back in AMERICA and how much we LOVE our Julia-she is beyond our dreams and is absolutely perfect!

Well, baby is crying-it's been 5 minutes since she held mommy!

Talk soon!

HONG KONG-Can't believe it!!!

Okay, my head is still swimming. We are in HONG KONG! First, I want to thank my father for the safe passage to the airport this morning (Or Friday-uh, what day is it?) It was quite scary, but we made it in plenty of time-thanks dad!

Also, thanks to Mom and Brenda for taking care of the kids-we miss them already!!!!

And last - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I can't think of another word to describe it. It just doesn't feel real. We're sitting and writing briefly. Tomorrow early we take a bus to Guangzhou and then fly to Nanchang in Jiangxi. We are told WE WILL PICK UP JULIA TOMORROW. So, less than 24 hours Chinese time and, (Pause for long sobbing blubber).....she will be in our arms. It is so unique the instant bond that we feel with the other families on this trip. It is truly the most indescribable experience.

P.S. Connie-I am sorry I didn't call...I turned the cell phone off too soon and I did not get to make the last minute calls I'd hoped. To YOU and MY BROTHER - I apologize you were 2 of the people I wish I had been able to say one last goodbye to. Amanda-I said goodbye to you so quit crying (ha, ha!) But, thanks to Caroline for calling just before we left-you are literally the last person in the family (other than my dad) that we spoke to before leaving. Mom-I tried to page you and was so disappointed not be able to say goodbye to you. I am just beyond words excited to make you a grandmother. I feel so completely lucky and blessed right now. Eric is wonderful and though we are both exhausted.....this is just unreal.

Hello to everyone, friends and family, Aunt Barbara & Uncle Jack, Aunt Jane, Aunt Mickey, Aunt Chris & Uncle Bill (and the kids), Aunt Joan, Jeanne & Brett (&Brett and Tommy), Colleen & Tim (& Sarah), Tommy, Tom & Paul, RoseAnn and Truman, Sondra and Tomas, Jerry & Karen (& Marguerite and Katherine-also special thanks to you guys), John, Joe and Carrie (& Ryan, Joey & Nicole), Connie, Christina, Amanda (& Aaron), Sandy, Rebecca (&Brian, Damian, and Desi), Dorthe, Joan, Mom U and Aunt Bernice, Uncle Tim & Aunt Peg, Uncle John and Aunt Nancy, Uncle Jack and Aunt Joyce, Rich & Ann and Kaylee and Ashlyn, Neil and Johnnie, Dave, Ike & Shane (& Olivia & Luke) , Joe & Diane (& Kailee), and everyone else. I am so sory if I didn't write you by name-I am very tired. (But, I thought it would be cool to know that someone in China was typing your name)

We will try to post tomorrow-though it may be a crazy day. I just don't KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!! Eric says hi.

I love you all......TOMORROWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nerves 1 : Jen 0

I think it'll be easier to just keep track of my emtional status this way...my subtle way of saying - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You won't believe this, but I fell asleep last night. And, I only woke up once. Eric is still asleep at the moment. I'm still shocked that we were able to close our eyes. I think we should add Sheer Exhaustion 1 : Jen & Eric 0.

Needless to say we packed and double checked everything again last night. Photocopied every piece of paper we ever got for this adoption. Made lists of phone numbers to give to our families to keep track of us. Said our last tearful, "Oh my gods" to family and friends. Stared at Julia's picture, checked every bar on her crib, smoothed every wrinkle on her sheets, checked every safety lock installed, and thought, she needs one more toy, but realized the stores were closed.

We filled up the cat's water bowls and food bowls and made sure they have their favorite blankets and sleeping spots available. Boy-I am really going to miss them.

I can't think straight, my stomach is in knots and my head is spinning. In a few hours, it will ALL be beyond my control. If I don't have it with me, I won't have it. If it hasn't been done yet, it won't get done. And, the sad part is - I will never have control over my life again. In a few days, I will relinquish all control to Julia. She has ruled my heart for 589 days and in just 2 weeks, she will be ruling our home!!!

Normally I am excited to be travelling and visting a new place. This trip is a huge adventure. Not only a new country, a new continent. But the purpose of this trip isn't sightseeing. As a matter of fact I don't think we'll even see the Great Wall of China or Tianamen Square! But who cares. What I find interesting is that I have never thought of being home before I've even gotten there and all I can think of right now is, "I CAN'T WAIT TO COME HOME!"

I guess this will be that last post that makes any sort of sense. If it even does. Please keep us in your thoughts as you will definitely all be in ours.

By this time tomorrow, we will be nearly landing in Hong Kong. Can you stand it?!

Talk to you soon.

What day is it anyway????

I still feel like I'm walking around in a dream. I know that it is Tuesday but it feels like it should be Wednesday....and tomorrow will be okay, but Thursday will be impossible to get through.

We've accomplished lots of last minute things. Hard to believe I'm still throwing things into a suitcase! Actually it's mostly little things like snacks and last minute bathroom items. I did fnd out that we are in fact allowed to bring small amounts of liquid such as saline/eye drops so that is quite a relief. I just hate wearing my glasses for long periods and 16 hours is kind of a long period.

Still waiting for my mom to get home from Bermuda (she was stuck in the hurricane-but what a place to get stuck-BERMUDA). Dad is ready to take us to the airport (thanks dad) and my brother and his wife are getting excited for us. I talked to my niece tonight and she said I was going to get her baby. Her baby Julia. Isn't that too cute?!

I will say that I am still so dumfounded at how much love surrounds this child already. We are so grateful and just touched by everyone's love and support. We can't wait to get to China but even more so, we can't wait to get home!!!!

I don't even think I can continue a countdown because every time I think about it I get nauseous with excitement and anticipation. I must admit, I've been thinking about what it would be like to be pregnant and be counting down those last few days/hours until delivery and it has to suck knowing that you still have to go through labor. I mean a 16 hour trip is inconvenient at best, but it's hardly labor! So, you have my sympathy. But in my defense-try being "pregnant" for 587 days? Hmmm.....

So VERY, VERY, VERY CLOSE!!!!

One Week....2 hours...Countdown to China!

I guess it's evident by the fact that I haven't been posting that we have been very busy. Not just busy, but in shock kind of busy. The house is pretty well together and all that, but it seems that we have had so much to do with everything else. Eric's mom came to visit over Labor Day weekend and that was very cool to have her before we bring Julia home. My mom is in Bermuda (poor kid always gets the hurricane weather!!) My nephew started kindergarten - he's getting so grown up. And let's see, what have we been up to????

We have packed and prepared as much as humanly possible for this trip. The house is mostly baby proofed. Foods, diapers, wipes, medicines, you name it - we have it! Then we have the suitcases-pretty well ready to go. We found out on Wednesday night that we will be leaving for China on Friday, September 15. Two days after Eric's birthday and the actual birthday of my friend Christina (love ya, Kristy!) I was waiting until today to post so we can say that we are now counting the wait in DAYS!!!!!! 168 HOURS!!!!! - (technically 170)

Julia will have approximately $590 in her "waiting" bank. We'll be borrowing from her before long.

So, we leave on Friday and we arrive in Hong Kong on Saturday. The flight is approximately 16 hours and we have a 12 hour time difference (meaning it's 12 hours later in China than it is here in PA). It's very funny that when we return from China, we leave on Friday (the 29th) around 11 am and we arrive in the US at around 3 pm also on FRIDAY!!! So it's like a 4 hour flight - only it's 15 hours!!!!! It will probably be the longest part of this trip. We haven't even left yet and I'm ready to bring her home!

So, I don't know what else to say....my head is spinning and I'm still in shock. I just can't believe we're sooooo close now!

Still on Cloud 9

And I'm not coming down!!!!!!

Updated our homestudy yesterday (we're still acceptable I believe, ha ha!), baby proofed some stuff...have been working on the house-Eric has done so much and since he won't get on the site to brag, I guess I'll have to do it for him. Let's see...he has installed a garbage disposal, 3 ceiling fans, numerous light dimmer switches, digital thermostat, a utility sink (that one was fun) and shelves and all kinds of other heavy lifting. I'm sure he'll point out what I forgot. Hey, in my defense, I've been busy unpacking!

We have our travel meeting this Saturday. Yes, we are VERY much looking forward to travelling with no carry-ons and completely naked...unless we are allowed to wear clothes on the plane-maybe at security level orange we can! So, these new developments with the terrorists (those creeps) should make our 15 hour air travel a pleasant inconvenience. I don't care too much...most of the shampoo and stuff are replaceable, but we will have to figure out what to do without contact eye drops/saline! But, I just hope for the flight back with Julia we are allowed every thing we need-because I will not let her do without!

I guess that's it for now. I'll have to post her picture again so that it stays at the top. She is just the MOST beautiful baby EVER! Still HOPING for September to go get her!

Introducing......JULIA HELENA FENG UMBERHOCKER

It is absolutely beyond words and expression. We were in love with her before, now we are head over heels. She is PERFECT!!! As of April, she weighed nearly 14lbs and is about 2'. We have much to do, most of it involves staring at her photo! Please feel free to post your comments below (or send an email). We look forward to sharing more info as we get it.

Go!!!!!!

"The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before July 13, 2005."

We got the call yesterday around noon from our Lancaster office that we are IN FACT getting our referral today! Then we got a call from the Philly office (hmmmm) saying that Julia "Feng Yu Hua" (meaning Phoenix/rain, happy, jade, honor/flower) Umberhocker was born/found in Jiangxi province in China with a predicted birthdate of November 19, 2005.

TODAY we will see her picture. I thought waiting 546 days would be hard, try waiting 3-4 hours more!!!! Eric and I are both going crazy. We're still trying to get moved into the new house...trying to stay busy so we don't go insane, but just don't know what to do with ourselves. I fell asleep last night around 8pm and for the first time in months, actually slept. I actually slept. Okay, I woke up off and on praying for it to be time, but still, I slept pretty good in between.

Now, we can't leave the house-who knows what time the Fed Ex truck will arrive and we will NOT be missing it! So, we loaded up the cars (to move stuff) and we're back to waiting!

It is POSSIBLE that we will get to travel in late September/early October (keep your fingers crossed)...but we have to be careful since the trade show is in China at the end of October, so if we miss this window, we won't go until November-I WILL NOT MISS HER FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!!

We will let you all know when that picture finally comes....okay, once we wipe the tears of joy out of our eyes! I just can't BELIEVE IT!!!!!!! I feel like I'm walking around in a dream.

Not Go....Beyond Ridiculous!

I knew I couldn't keep my cool much longer-not when we're this close. Today I finally broke down and decided to call our agency's Philadelphia office. I know they hate when we do that.But.....we have been watching all day as large agencies report that referrals are arriving today and many people know their daughters' and sons' birthdates and weight, etc. We are still waiting to be notified that the referrals are indeed coming!

Blah, blah, blah. I shouldn't stir the pot this close to the end, but I can't take it anymore. We don't even know what the process of notification is!!!! Will Gracewood contact us, will AFTH, will Santa Claus????

I am TRULY disappointed that we did not get any info on July in JULia like we thought would be fitting due to her name. I am also VERY sad that instead of 4 weeks and a few days between referrals like the previous groups, our referral will take (if we do get it by Weds/Thurs) nearly SIX WEEKS!!!! And then we get to worry about the travel arrangements!!!

Can hardly take anymore, must go and get drunk!

Get set....

I just don't know which way to feel. One of the saddest things about this whole process is the inability to get excited for fear that you will just get flattened with disappointment. At the moment, we have heard that referrals are definitely on their way but don't know when they'll arrive. Some are guessing today, some say Monday. Nothing is definite, nothing is certain, blah, blah, blah!!!!!!! I so can't wait for this part to be OVER!

On the other side of news....we bought our house! It really is great. When y'all come over, I'm sure we'll end up in the kitchen. It's huge! We may even skip the table, put up a disco ball and just make it a dance floor! Plus, the whole house has great light-lots of windows! We've moved a few things in already, but won't have our furniture and all moved until the end of next week. UGH! But, we'll be painting and moving boxes between now and then. Plus, agonizing over our wait for Julia's picture and info! So, for now, to hold you over, here's a picture of our house.

The next post should say GO! Meaning we'll be ready to go to china, but won't quite be able to....we'll be much closer to being on our way and will need you to continue to keep your fingers crossed for Julia to remain safe and healthy where she is, and for us the same and then for all of us to arrive back home in the USA safely and soon!

Get ready......

Rumors, rumors, rumors....I can't wait to be rid of them....but for now, they are a lifeline!!! The CCAA website has not changed yet....but the RUMORS say that the referrals are on their way and that they include up to July 13. We have NO confirmation yet, but what the hell, one more hill and twist on the roller coaster won't kill us. If we're wrong, we'll drown ourselves in martinis and stay medicated until next month!

We make settlement tomorrow. We did the walk through yesterday. It's funny how you remember things...the two bedrooms are smaller than we remembered. The living room is big, the kitchen is huge and the master bedroom is plenty. The basement has lots of potential but for now will be for storage. The house is really great. I'm excited. It's like anything else we're you're nervous and excited. We'll post some photos soon. Tomorrow...just one more tomorrow.

Keep a lookout for news....we'll be watching for it ourselves!!!!

On your mark.......

I'm going to go ahead and start the countdown anyway......tonight, the 23nd here-the 24th in China, is the night we expected would be the night that the CCAA website would change reflecting the new referral dates. At this point we don't know anything yet. It's only 6 pm here so it's not quite opening time for the CCAA (assuming they open at 8 am.)

We're doing our walk through for our house on Tuesday (very exciting). I had originally thought that we'd end up getting our referral the same day we're to make settlement (Thursday). I couldn't even describe the sheer exhiliration we would be going through-YOU JUST CAN'T IMAGINE! Either way, we're getting our house this week and still HOPING we get our picture of Julia, too.

When I'm calm I can sit back and think, "her picture is probably already in our file." Our fates may already be sealed. There is still the wait after we get her picture, which may only be worse than this wait since we will have her sweet picture to look. But on the other hand, that will make it nice. Somehow I'll be feeling like someon has my child and I just want to get to her. I don't think I've quite got a handle on this patience thing! I've had to endure it, but I still don't like it.

Oh well.....this is the crunch time....maybe by tomorrow we'll be ready for "get ready," then "get set".....and we can't wait to say, go!!!

Ha Ha HA HA HAAAA!!!!!

Now seriously, this is just too funny! You know how we're finally getting there with this adoption stuff, right? I mean we're finally figuring we're bound to be next! The last cutoff was June 28th...sure they could cut it off and miss us...(they could be insane and do 1 DAY per month thus taking 8 MORE months.) But no, they're too clever for that. Instead...the move that the CCAA has been planning and warning of since March/April in NOW going to happen. Before you ask, the rumor is that this will DELAY things....ha, ha, ha, ha, ha no kidding, the Umberhockers were ABOUT to be next. I've actually finally learned how to cry myself into hysteria and it comes out as LAUGHTER!!!!!!! It's a great trick I'm sure will come in handy as a parent-whenever that day may be.

I'm giving serious thought to removing ourselves from the program so that all the other poor families who are suffering because of us will finally get to move forward. And then again, maybe one of those people are the one's who are jinxed and are holding US up. Just don't let me find out who it is or else I'll have to torture them!!!!

Bottom line....who the heck knows! At least the rumor is that the referrals should cut off some time after the 10th, which would mean we are in the next group. The question remains, "when will they come out?" The craziest part of this is that we are in a delicate time frame now. If we do not get our referral in the next 2 weeks (maybe 3), we are looking at a fine line for tavelling so as not to be affected by the lunar holiday (which closes most of China the 1st 2 weeks of October). If not, we wait again a bit LONGER until after the holiday....which we hope to make or else we will have to re-do a BIG immigration form that costs $$ and who knows how long it will take to get here (nothing seems to happen on time!).....not one step of this has been easy. Actually, I should take that back...the part they said was the most diificult was the paperwork (that took us NO time at all)...we knew waiting would be tough, but extending the wait has proved even more excrutiating.....

My (our) other site at www.youbelong.net shows a picture of a roller coaster.....you know it's been up and down and twisting and turning....I used to think I'd hate to go through labor....then I realized that I have been in labor for 18 MONTHS.....and the roller coaster has twisted and turned and jerked me and been upside down and backwards and now I'm just naseous....I would take 24 hours of the WORST labor pains right now for Julia to finally just arrive. Hell, I'll take 1 week of that kind of pain. Right now the roller coaster has chugged it's way to the top....I can just about see the bottom, and it's stuck...the darn thing is just sitting there. It has become beyond surreal to me now-it seems so impossible that this torture will ever end. But it will.....one way or another....and yes, SOON (ha, ha, don't laugh-I mean it!!!!)

Maybe....only 2 more weeks????

We have been guessing all along, so don't get me wrong, we're still guessing....but if we are correct this time it could only be 2 more weeks until our referral is on its way. Last month the referrals were sent around the 22nd, so the week of the 24th is a safe bet for them to start arriving. And, so far, though it is early, all indicators reflect our LID (7/7) as being included in this batch. I have already lost circulation in my fingers and toes from having them crossed for so long, so please keep yours crossed for us. Back up that roller coaster hill....here we go!!!!!!

7/7 Day 520, or 1 YEAR anniversary of our LID

Today is the day that 1 year ago our paperwork was officially received in China. The date from which we were told it would only take 5-7 months until we met our daughter....One year and still counting. But at least now, we're practically counting in weeks (trying not to get ahead of ourselves). It is still funny to think we have passed....2 Valetine's, 2 Easters, 2 Memorial Days, 2 Mother's Days, 2 Father's Days, 2 of Jen's birthdays, 1 Christmas, 1 Thanksgiving, 1 Halloween, and a bunch of little days in there. We have passed 1 of Eric's birthdays but it looks like we may get to be in China for the 2nd....(since the adoption process started).

We're making settlement on July 27th (yeah!) and hope/believe that our picture of Julia should come that week as well. We were close on our plan to trick the universe. Now, it looks like that week will be filled with excitement (let's hope). We're afraid we'll get kicked out of our new neighborhood for celebrating too much-but someone will have to explain!!!

Hard to believe how long this has taken. It really still amazes me. And yet, time seems to be moving. It is surreal to think it could be over soon. I feel like a hostage who has just been told they'll be going home soon. Not sure if I believe it and can't believe it's real. Not to take away from anyone's wait time (either pregnant or adopting), but I feel like this has been harder to have had such a different expectation of time and to have it extended beyond "normal." The pattern of waiting and hoping has been going on for so long, I'm sure it will come with a grieving period. We won't know how to act. You mean our lives are completely within our control again?? Or at least as much as can be expected...

Hang in there y'all....it's gotta be coming soon.......we're pretty sure anyway......Prepare yourselves for the most ridiculous display of gushing, pride, excitement, happiness, and I don't know what else...a bunch of emotions!!! Can't wait!

So close........

I couldn't update yesterday because I was busy going through every emotion you can imagine. The CCAA changed the website to state that they have covered up to June 28!!!! That means we have the 29th, 30th, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, and then.............the 7TH!!!!! Are we next....dare we say we think so??? It looks promising, but if you read back some, so did May!

We are desperately hoping that we will be NEXT! We are still being cautious because with the new way referrals come out (instead of a whole month at a time, divided by days which seem random) you just NEVER KNOW what will actually happen until it does. The rumors should start again after the 4th of July and we may know for sure around July 22-24th or so. Right around when we make settlement on our new house!

Our friends Bridgett and Bruce, who received their referral over Memorial Day weekend, should be travelling to China around mid-July so it does look like around 6 weeks from referral to travel. Which will be VERY important for us since early October is a lunar holiday and the government offices close. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Stay tuned-good news should be on its way!!!!!!!! Julia-we're coming soon!

501

Today is 501. Hard to believe. The rumors that pointed to the CCAA website changing yesterday was not true. Perhaps it will change tonight. This is really nerve racking...it could bring okay news, good news, or great news....we just need it to change and soon.

Not Yet

We thought the CCAA would be sending out referrals more frequently...they're not. At this time, the rumors think we may know around this weekend or just after exactly how far the CCAA will get this time....speculation ranges from 6/20 (only 5 days worth) to a more realistic 6/23 or 24 to the hopeful plea of 6/30. But even if they do get to 6/30...we still have no assurance that they will get through 7/7 next time. Remember it took a whole month to get from 5/30 to 5/31...not that we expect the worst-just need to be prepared for it.

Now, if they should get through 6/23, well, that's a whole other level of anxiety that you can't imagine. Every once in a while during this month I have thought, "what if they surprise us and get all the way to 7/7 THIS month?!" Then I wake up and get a cup of coffee and get real. But, next month is anybody's guess. Rumors are that the end of June is larger than the beginning, and that July is relatively light...what will they do...will they do more...less...the same? The CCAA is trying to keep the wait from LID to referral to ONE year....we've got to give them some slack that it won't be exactly one year, but if they still match all of July in July, then I would count that....so, will they cover ALL of July next month???????

Each batch of referrals brings about new guesses and more extensions...like I said last time, we ALWAYS seem to be EIGHT weeks away! It seems like I want to say, "well, if not July, it should definitely be August" and then I shudder and realize that there is no guarantee and if you expect it, you WILL be disappointed.

So, we're focussing on our new house right now. It does look like we will move in July. So, that's good news. And we'll have time to settle in before we have to hurry of to China (not that I couldn't be packed and ready to go to China in a moment's notice!) We've got our weekends pretty well planned for the next 7 weeks with lots of fun stuff...the shore, company picnic, more shore, family visiting from Texas, family reunion....all good stuff.

Hopefully, I'll be posting again REAL soon.......keep those fingers crossed and think July 7th, July 7th, July 7th!!!!!! (Maybe it will be this month-if we think REAL HARD!)

June-one more month into this....

So a few weeks ago, there was the optimistic possibility that we MAY have received a referral in June....now, as always we are still potentially EIGHT WEEKS AWAY. Every month it seems we are EIGHT WEEKS AWAY....I'm really hating this game. It sometimes feels like it will really never happen. I mean, we keep saying we're getting closer, but it never really seems to true!!! Well, we really are getting closer-believe it or not. (I keep telling myself to believe it!)

The recent rumors are hoping that the referrals will start coming more frequently (maybe every 3 weeks instead of 1x/month) They're hoping the next referrals will come out around the 16th of June...and they are still hoping that the CCAA will keep it to 1 year - which means we are still HOPING for JULY (actually hoping for June, but without really expecting it).

I guess that's all for today....Please, please, please keep sending out those wishes for us to bring Julia home soon.

Is it good? Is it bad? An Update.....

Day 475!!!! Hard to believe-every day when we put the dollar into Julia's bank I shake my head when I notice the day we are up to. 365 seemed impossible to us-now look at it!

The CCAA updated their website today-referrals up to June 15th....we were hoping they would get through the 20th...it would have made June a possibility for us. Now we are biting our nails and HOPING that we get our referral in July. Which is what we have been prepared for, but I've got to be honest-I was starting to get hopeful that it would come in June. I am going to be on the edge of a breakdown if we have to wait until August....you'd think it wouldn't matter to be so close and know that you will be next, but I'm not kidding-there is a breaking point (which I passed months ago) and then there's a "You've got to be Kidding me!!" point-that would be August!

Our friends Bridgett and Bruce should be getting their referral any day now-they are very excited and we're excited for them. We'll be living vicariously through them over the next couple of months. They missed the cut off by a day last month so it is so nice for them to have some relief....

Other than that, nothing new going on. We'll hopefully find out more about a settlement date for our new house next week. This weekend we'll be heading to Wildwood for what seems to be the last traditional Memorial weekend we'll have there. I remember thinking we would have Julia there this year and I am kind of sad that she won't be. Unfortunately, she will never get to spend even one traditional Wildwood Memorial Weekend at the shore. It was always a great tradition for me and I will miss it dearly. Oh well, new traditions and all that.

Hope you are all doing well and continue to send wishes to the heavens or wherever you send wishes that our Julia is safe and healthy and will be coming home sooner than later!

Let's hope the CCAA gets the rest of June done next time!

Almost ready to get excited! But still being cautious...

Day 460....almost 1 year and 100 days. Still cracks me up that we thought (and were told) about 9 months from paperwork to finish....that would have been 270 days...we are getting close to nearly double that.

Since my last post, the CCAA sent out referrals up to (not sure if including) June 6. Unfortunately, our friends Bridgett & Bruce are June 7 and missed this batch by a hair. We will be so excited for them this month when they should be getting their referral.

When we found out the cutoff date was 6/6 we figured previous rumors of June taking 3 months to get through would come true and we would be in July's referrals (of course, still hoping-no formula to figure it out). But, recent rumors indicate that we MAY be June. Which would be very close to our prediction of house and baby coming at the same time!!!! Nothing like creating more drama for ourselves-we just love it! Of course, we are so happy and excited that we don't care! Somehow, we'll make it work-we love a challenge!

But, at the same time, we are afraid to get excited too soon. Those of you who know me know that it's hard to tell me to slow down-I always put the cart before the horse. I am prepared for July, but the new rumor of June would be so great. And, I could possibly get the referral before my birthday-the only present I could ask for-a picture of my baby girl!!!

Until the end of this month, we continue to anxiously wait and monitor the rumors. The CCAA seems to be posting and sending referrals at the end of the month so in a few weeks, we should have some more answers. June will be a nail biter! Could be yes, could be no, but should most definitely be VERY, VERY close!!!

Day 443

I was going to wait to have the day 444, but figured what the heck, it's been a while.

No news. Guess you weren't expecting that one! To be honest, there is some news.....

We were (okay-I was) getting concerned about our dates (DTC/LID). As you know, the dates are very important in this process and have become even more important as China has begun splitting up referral groups (they used to be whole months at a time, but now it's random). So, the DATE MATTERS. For example, last month referrals only went up to and including May 30! Imagine being poor little May 31? Ugh!!! So, after feeling uncomfortable with the dates our social worker was giving us (yep, I'm becoming an expert in international adoption and think I know more than the agency does) I pressed the issue. I was partially dismissed, but you can't stop a mom on a mission!

As it turns out, our LID date is incorrect. But, as if a sign from above that I am not eternally cursed, our date is now even better! Ready....instead of 7/8 we are....7/7! Okay, I know it's only a day, but for once it's a day in our favor! That's like becoming a May 30 instead of a May 31-be excited, be very excited!

Unfortunately, we don't know how far the CCAA has reached with the next batch of referrals (due out next week)-they are speculating it should be through June 6, but rumors are floating that it could be as far as June 16....it's getting closer, little by little.

So, Eric and I decided a few weeks ago if we can't beat 'em, join 'em. We decided to buy a house! We were told not to move during this process because it would mess up all of our paperwork. Which, we have to have re-done anyway because it has all expired (government conspiracy I think). We thought if we buy a house, we'll surely draw the attention of the gods who want to watch us jump over obstacles and it will make our referral come sooner! Good plan, right? So far, since we decided, our LID date was moved up a day and the CCAA may be getting more referrals out each month! Now it's a race to see which will come first-settlement or referral. We'll be happy to take bets! New house, new baby-isn't that the saying?

The other funny thing is that if we have not adequately fooled the universe into getting our way, we still have the fact that I was stupid enough to state out loud (on this blog) that there would be a possibility of the referrals coming so late that I would be in China for my best friend's wedding in late October. I didn't realize how close that could actually come to be!!!! I'm so sorry-I should have known better-such a jinx.

I guess that's it for now. At the present, I believe (think, hope, etc.) we'll be getting our referral in June, our settlement in July and will travel to China in August to finally bring home our precious Julia! Wouldn't that just all fall into place perfectly!

Hope you all are doing well. Feel free to post comments to the blog-we'd love to hear from you.

P.S. In other news: my mom is moving, my brother is coming to visit in May, Eric's brother and his family are going to DisneyWorld, and everyone else seems to be generally doing well.

Not Good

The CCAA updated their website today-they have only finished placing through May 30. That means it has taken them about 1 month to match only 5 days worth of dossiers. If this rate continues (which it shouldn't), we wouldn't get our referral for 6 months. Is that even possible???? I can't imagine it will be true. In November, our government clearance expires and things get really messy again. Please, please, please, keep your fingers crossed for us. This has been so hard to get through and they keep extending the torture. I can't even believe that this whole "process" should have been over. And, it's really disgusting to think Britney Spears will have TWO children before we even get our first-what is going on in Heaven?!

A little bit is better than nada....

Today's heading is from one of Eric's favorite movies "Tin Cup"-it's in a song...anyway, it refers to the fact that the CCAA has changed their website to state that they are finished reviewing files through August 31. So, now, without knowing any more definite info...it looks like the end of May, June, July and now August are all waiting to be matched up to their children and have their "referrals" mailed out.

So, how many referrals will be arriving, and when??? This process should start a racket in Las Vegas and have people placing bets. I'd have lost tons of money by now!

All kinds of rumors are speculating that only the rest of May will be coming soon. Some rumors speculate that June will be close behind, some think that July (us) will not be coming until May or June! But, I still believe that our referral will be coming in April. I have to believe that or I'll go crazy!! Plus, an April referral will mean travel in July probably. Now, with a name like JULia, don't you think July makes sense? Plus, I'll still get most of the summer off and will be back in plenty of time for my Best Friend's wedding (in October-Hi Connie & Ryan!) and not have lost lots of money on baby clothes that are a season too early and a size too wrong!

However, Connie has some "Murphy" in her and wouldn't it just be like Murphy to drag out this ordeal to get a two for one "screw you" by having us travel to China in October! Not to worry-I'd be in the looney bin well before then.

Keep us in your thoughts. I'm sure that somebody must be thinking of us or else I would be totally nuts and Eric would be running away from home! So I appreciate your efforts-keep 'em coming. We need good news in the next 4 weeks or the tear damn will burst again.

Still Nothing New.....

We last heard that as of March 1, 2006 our file (the July group) is in the Mattching Room. For nearly 1 month prior to that we heard that June was in the Matching Room. June is still waiting for their referrals (which means, you guessed it, we are still waiting for ours.)

Is it possible that we could get our referral the same time that June get theirs? Sure, but remember who you're talking to....every time we think we'll be on the shorter end of this, we end up on the longer end. Take for example that when we started this process we were told it would be about 5-7 months from the time the paperwork was filed. 5 months from July would have been December...7 months would have been - February!! So, now we hear 9 months, maybe 10....and they're telling the new guys (people after June/July) to expect 12 - 14 months!!!

Now, I'm not saying that we're not very lucky people-cause we know we are. However, for the past 7-10 years that they have been doing adoptions from China, the system was moving pretty quickly. Is it a coincidence that ever since WE entered the system it takes longer?! You guessed it, we're the ONLY people in the universe that this is happening to.... Ha, ha, ha!

Someone posted on the message board recently the length of time it takes for some animals to give birth....we're about at the camel/rhino (or maybe hippo) stage now and will hopefully "give birth" before we hit the elephant stage (21 months).

The good news is that when we were in November/December it was sad to know we still had to wait for March, April, May and June...now we're a bit more hopeful since we just have to get June out of the way....but let's hurry up already!!!!

Day 400

I had to post this for Eric. He keeps saying he is going to post to this blog some day soon. No news today. Today is day 400! We have been waiting 400 days!!!!! Hopefully, we have less than 100 to go. I am starting to really get impatient. We know that it is close.

Good news!

I feel like Captain Kirk calling into my starlog....Starlog 03062006: today we encounted a new species....good news. Skeptical at first, we approached the news and discovered that the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) posted on their site that they have finished the review of dossiers up to July 31.

YEAH! Okay, so this only means that we have moved from one pile to another, it's the right pile. This pile is in the Matching Room. That means soon, a photo of Julia will be on its way to us. I use soon as a relative term at this point. Weeks instead of months is soon to us now. I'm hoping this year Good Friday will be a GREAT Friday.

So, that's all for today. Thanks for sharing this exciting news with me. We are really getting closer and it's very surreal. Soon it will actually hit us that we will be parents!

Just Beginning

This is our first posting on our "blog." I have seen and read many others and it is a great idea! I just hope I don't have too many typos.

My dh (dear husband) Eric and I have been in the waiting process for an eternity (and we're not alone!). We began our adoption journey on Groundhog's Day 2005 and it has been quite a year! We thought we would all be together by now and are learning patience the best way possible - practice!

However, it should be soon that we get our referral (terrible name for such an important step in this process). Basically a picture of our daughter!

We can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel and welcome you to join our journey. I don't know what kinds of things we can do with a "blog." But we'll see....